Saturday, February 26, 2011

What says the most about a man?

I say that what says the most of a man is the woman he has at his side.  I don't mean that men without a good woman are nothing, though I'm sure some people would say thats the case.  The truth is though, it isn't just the woman he has at his side, it's the people he surrounds himself with in general (I do think the woman at his side is easily the most accurate indicator).  Mind you, this idea isn't gender specific, the people that a woman surrounds herself with tells you just as much about her character and personality.

I was thinking about how this works in day to day life and I realized, I know some fantastic people that have surrounded themselves with people that don't really share the same values or similar character traits as themselves.  The problem is they are then subjected to these assumptions that are typically wrong and at the very least off-base.  In an ideal world no one would make assumptions about anyone, but lets face it, we're far from an ideal world.  On the other hand, I think a lot of people subconsciously understand this idea and do surround themselves with people who accurately portray themselves to other.  So I think you can find out a lot about a person's character and personality if you look at the types of people they are surrounded by, even if they aren't always the "right" type of people.  That's not in place of actually getting to know someone of course, but it can give you good insight in to who they really are.

Through out high school I hung out a lot with people that would typically be considered kind of "nerdy".  I was undoubtedly lumped in that group.  I didn't mind, I enjoyed having people assuming that because I was friends with them I must be extremely smart (I'm not saying I'm stupid, just not as smart as most of my friends).  The opposite side of that is there is an assumption that when you're "that smart" you must also be socially awkward.  Even though I have always been able to befriend and fit in with any person or group of people I met, that label had a way of keeping me from being invited to things.  I can't say that I cared all that much, I enjoyed hanging out with my "nerdy" friends.  I think it was probably for the best because it kept me from going to places where I might have drank or done something else irresponsible.  Don't get me wrong I love my friends and I wouldn't have traded them to be invited to some party, but thats just an example of how the people you surround yourself with influence how you interact with other people.

I guess the point is, remember that people are always making assumptions about you based on who you surround yourself with.  I'm not suggesting you avoid people who are different from yourself,  because diversity can say more than similarity.  Just keep in mind when you let someone in to your life, that they say something about who you are to other people.  The other half of that is, you can learn a lot from what kinds of people a person keeps around.  Final word, choose your friends wisely, they always say something about who you are, even when they don't talk about you.

-Adam Dent

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Introducing the Elephant

Whether you noticed or not, the address for this page is  Now that I've brought that to your attention I'll tell you where I got it.

Last night, I was using and "stumbling" around on the internet.  I came across a list from Psychology Today entitled "10 Life-Enhancing Things You Can Do in Ten Minutes or Less".  The first thing on the list is "Watch 'The Last Lecture' by Randy Pausch".  I was bored and it was late so I watched it (you should too).  The whole point is Randy Pausch was a professor at Carnegie Mellon University and he found out he had 3-6 months of good health left so he wrote and gave his "Last Lecture".  Right off the bat he jumps in saying, "So, you know, in case there is anyone who wandered in and doesn't know the back story, my dad always taught me that when there's an elephant in the room, introduce them.", Prof. Pausch is referring to the fact that he has been diagnosed with liver cancer and has been given 3-6 months of good health left.  That line, along with many other from the lecture, really stuck with me.  I think thats a profound way to look at awkward situations.  If there is something floating in the air, clear it.  This idea really resonates with me, because I've come to realize that  its better to deal with problems, and those "elephants", head on.

I would highly recommend that you watch "The Last Lecture", if you don't it's your loss.  This first post was really just to kind of introduce my blog and just a tiny part of what makes me, me.  So you can expect that I'll always be pretty upfront about what I'm getting at in my posts.  I'll really try to avoid beating around the bush too much.

-Adam Dent